2nd Trial for me !

Being in Customer service is really a tough job and responsibility, thanks to my moderator, she really made me enjoy my work and to discover my craft in the field of customer service. As I was enjoying that job, my life is starting to be colorful again. Accidentally, I got to meet again my old high school classmate since first year high school. This guy happen to be my admirer since then but we never had a chance to be in a relationship because of young age. After 9 years, I was just overwhelmed that since then he kept his love for me. He really took a chance knowing that I'm a wdiow already, he propose his true love to me. Part of me , he needs to accept wholeheartedly my only son. Everything went well for me and him and my son. Onto our 8 month, while I was in the office very busy working, I called him up thru his mobile and was answered by his sister in law. She informed me that my man is rushed to hospital having a very high blood pressure that went thru his head and also the fact that his 2 kidneys are not functioning anymore. I didn't know what to feel that time, I was put into shock again, I want to faint but I get hold of myself, I said "No, I should be strong, I just have to believe God that my man is in good hands and shape" Got permission from my boss to immediately go to the hospital, my walk as if I was already running, go directly to the ICU, saw his Mom praying at the other side of the waiting area of the floor. His mom saw me then cried already, then I can't get hold of myself than to cry too. His mom told me what had happened. Seriuos things I got to know that was kept secret by him to me in which I understood him why he had to do that because of my first trial. His mom even told me that before my man became unconcious, his last words is my name, calling my name repeatedly many times. That time I really felt his true and great love for me since then.
 
I got a chance to enter his room, my God I really don't know what to feel, what to say and what to do when I saw him lying in bed with so many things in his mouth and body. I wanted to kneel that time because of my depression . In my mind there's a question again: :Lord why it had to be me again in this situation why, why, why........ I went home that same night like a robot again, too many questions to asked to the Lord.
 
The next day I went back to the hospital to take care of him, beside him I know he can hear me say words to his ears, I talked to him in a normal way, telling stories of what had happened to me in the past days. I also got to sing to his ears his song to me "All my Life" by America. In a little while singing that song, tears went down from his eyes, knowing that he's really hearing me clearly. Oh God, I was just feeling that time the strenght I need to have for him, I often say to him that he can do it for me. I just believe in the Lord that he will grant my prayers to give him a second life. After being there for 3 days, the doctors finally announced that he has no life anymore. I was there that time, saw how he was being pumped many times to be revived by still to no avail of breathe :-(
 
Back to square one, have to recover again, but now I have to be much stronger than the first one. I want to prove to myself that I can do it and accept it. Again, with the help of my own family plus the full support of my man's family, I recovered easily maybe because I already know how to handle the same situation. I rested again for many months for full recovery.
 
Until now, I still have communication with his family, they treat me and my son their own familia.
 
Having my own life now with my son is such a big responsibility but it keeps me on my toes. Having my motto not to give up whatever trial God will give me. I know keep in mind that things happen for a reason and I'm beginning to discover one by one the reasons behind.
 
Besides, currently I am so happy now with my current life, with my son, my family and my new love.
 
I have to go on with my life positively, live in my present and my future and not to leave in my past :-)