A time felt alone

After my first unforgettable and 2nd trial, there was really a time that I really felt so alone even if I have my only son. It's still different if you have your own companion to be with beside at all times. When we were still in Boni office, I usually spend my crying lunch time in the cemetery where my hubby lies. I just sit down there, speak by  myself and cry. I want to tell all my fears, problems, heartaches and sufferings to him. I always tell him that if he did not leave me I won't be in this kind of situations. I can still remember he told me that if one of us will die he prefers himself to die first rather than me. The reasob he gave me was he'e very sure that I can survive by myself because of my strenght within me. I can now prove to that :-) thanks for the guidance of the lord and the love and support of my whole family.
 
It's just hard to raise my only son without the guidance of a father. Good thing I have someone right now who loves my adorable kid. He's also helping me out to discipline my son like a real father :-)Whew that's really tough. I can pretend to be a man but I can't do what a real man can and they have their own style and strategy to raise a son.
 
Me and my new love in life have so many plans in the future, I just hope and pray that we can fulfill it in God's time. The most important to me now as in my # 1 priority is to be married to him. I want to be his wife, to be the mother of his children and to build a simple, happy family.
 
I believe deep in my heart 100% that this will come true very soon because I know that God wants me and my son to be happy. I can really feel that this is already the gift I'm waiting for from the Lord.
 
Thank God am still holding on ............